Today was actually a mixture of whirring thoughts and emotions. Have you ever seen one of those commericals, or scenes from a movie where the person is standing still, and everything around them is going by in a blur? That’s what it has been feeling like lately. Part of the reason for that is that everyone else has now gotten back to life as usual, the usual pace and things to do, the usual demands and expectations for productivity…. and yet in my own existence, I feel like I am standing still watching it all go whirring around me. And then again… for me in this new land… what IS productivity?.

Now, that does not mean that there are not good things. How I appreciated the prayers of the pastors of Monroe as we met this morning, and they prayed for me. It was the first meeting where I have joined them as a group at their twice a month meeting.

It was a good time at the “GriefShare” meeting today. Our topic today was “when your spouse dies.” But it was a good time.

It was a productive day, and that is a first in this new land. It was productive at the office. It was productive at home as I read over the edited edition of my coming book, and made some progress on some home projects.
It might be hard for you to understand if I tell you that even though there were many times during the day when my eyes filled with tears, it was a good and productive day.

It was a day when I again felt like I wanted to find who the “New Me” will be in this Land of Firsts.” I’ve had some ideas, but there was a little tinge of excitement in my to find out what that might look like. I fought off the tinge of guilt, that tried to creep in to say I should not feel excitement about that… somehow I’m supposed to stay moody and sad. HA!!!  How Marilou would be mad at that one!! I have that picture of her with the whisk in her hand!!!

So, today was a good day… Maybe the “first” pretty positive day in a while. So, knowing I am on this roller coaster… I’ll take this good day, thank the Lord for those who helped to make it a good day, and head for bed thanking the Lord…

That in this Land of Firsts…. this was a pretty good day!  And that makes me smile.  Hey another little first!

Forward to a friend