It was unexpected
It was overwhelming

I had put in a full day at the office, and had spent hours that evening finishing the second to the last chapter for the book I am writing on the transformation of Algodao de Jandaira, Brazil.

PJ’s on, ready for bed… later than I had hoped, but I was relieved to have finished another chapter. The crunch is on to finish this before I go to Brazil in December. I want to take copies with me… this is their story, God’s story, and they have been asking about it. I have faced unnumbered obstacles.

I had washed my face, the warm water felt good. I was drying my face with a towel when the words came at me out of the blue, “Look in the mirror. What do you see?”

The Lord surely knew that if He had given me time, I probably would have answered with some less than kind remarks about the man I would see in the mirror. I’m actually pretty good at not thinking much of myself. That’s one of the things that used to irritate Marilou so much. She used to say she could never figure out how I could not see the good in myself. She was my biggest supporter… well, here on earth anyway.

I am sure the Lord knew what He could expect to hear if He gave me the chance, but before I could even lower the towel from my face, He gave the answer to His own question.
Again, the words came strong and clear, “I see a faithful man.”

It broke me.

The love and the mercy in His voice, those simple words were more than I could have imagined.
I walked over and flopped onto the bed, and just began to bawl. “I want to be, I want to be.” was the only response I could utter as I took a breath between sobs. It has always been the cry of my heart to be found faithful to my precious Lord, and now for Him to say this, so unexpectedly, was mercy that was overwhelming to me. I could not stop sobbing and saying, “I want to be.”

He is now more than ever before my all in all. My companion of nearly forty years is gone, and now, essentially, it is He and I. So for Him to speak to me those five grace filled words was more than I could ever have imagined.

It was a special gift to me out of His tender mercies, at a time when I needed to hear them. They were  more than I deserved, but they were healing for me to hear.

Thank you, Abba, for this unexpected, and overwhelming gift of your favor that you have poured out upon me by your tender mercies. I pray it might be a continuing motivation to always walk close to you, and be faithful to your call upon my life. I will, by your grace and mercy, seek to be a faithful man.

… till next time

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