Labor Day evening… I took a walk this morning, and talked by phone  with a couple friends from way back. Actually both I’ve known since Viet Nam days.
Walked two times around the lake at a pretty good pace… needed to just work out a little bit.

Cooked a hamburger for lunch, and had one of Marilou’s suger free Jello’s. she didn’t like the taste.

Sat out on the deck a couple times, and started looking through pictures to use for the memorial service on the 24th.

My PC is having some problems, so my good friend from Brainerd, MN is helping with some of that. And I got invited over for a “guys night” with Brandon Springer and his three boys. Thanks Brandon, that was really nice. My first time in the new my new role as “Grampa Steve.” One of my goals in this chapter of life is to be a loving and caring “Grampa” to any kids I am around, so I can shine Jesus for them.

But reality is like ocean waves, they come in, and go out, and this varies with the tides. I had a great, great time with Brandon and the boys, and as I drove toward home, the wave of reality hit me… I’m going home, but Marilou will not be there to greet me. I will not be able to tell her what a great time we had trying to knock foam swords out the the tree. Or having pizza and roast corn together. It’s one of those waves that remind you that in order to stand firm against these kind of waves, you must have your foundation firm on the solid rock of God.

And now I am wondering how long to keep this journal going. It’s intention was to update our friends on what was going on with Marilou. Well, I’m afraid I no longer have enough information to update you on how she’s doing, except that I know she is far beyond all of the cares and sorrows of this life, and for that I am eternally grateful.  In Jesus, there is hope beyond what we see, and Paul reminds us in his letter to the Corinthians that what is seen is only temporary, and what is unseen is eternal…so those undulating waves… they too are only temporary, and for that, I am very thankful.

Before I close here, I was looking at the last page of Our Daily Bread that Marilou had read before she could not read anymore because of the tiredness and sleepiness. It was for July 21, “Pain No More” from I Corinthians 15:51-57…here is a portion of what she read that day – “Where is God when it hurts? He has been there from the beginning. He designed a pain system that, in the midst of a fallen world, bears His stamp. He transforms pain, using it to teach and strengthen us if we allow it to turn us toward Him.”
I say “YES” to you, Lord

What do you do the day after your loving spouse of almost 40 years leaves this earth for eternity? Good Question! I’m not sure I really know the answer to  that one. As for me and my house… I took Jonathan and Carol to the airport to fly back to Columbus, Ohio on separate flights. Jonathan had a long layover in Minneapolis, so he connected with some friends and visited the grave site of his Grandfather Loopstra. He left a picture of Marilou and a piece from a prayer scarf that Carol took as a memento.

After dropping them at the airport, Jodan (our adopted daughter) headed to Seattle to have breakfast with Esther and Tony and hang out for a while.
Then I came back home, washed the sheets and cleaned the frig.

I have to tell you a little story that I think is just a token of God’s loving care for us. —- The first day that we came here to look at this house together… it was the very first day it was even on the market, I walked over to the dining room window, and there, was a hummingbird feeding in the bush right outside the window.
Yesterday… right after Marilou went to be with her Jesus, I walked downstairs, and looked out the dining room window, and there in that bush, was a hummingbird.  At least to me, our precious Father was telling me that, yes, He is watching out for us.

What do you two days after your loving spouse of almost 40 years leaves to be with Jesus? I’m not really sure, but I know Jesus and I will do it together.

We have set September 24th as the day of her Memorial Celebration. It’s Jonathan’s birthday. After talking it over, he is really ok with that and feels it would be so appropriate to celebrate her eternal life on the day she brought him into the world.

How can I express my utmost thanks to all of your for your prayers and kind, loving comments here. I read them all to Marilou before she left, and my heart is full of gratitude for each post you have left, and each prayer that is prayed. It seems so inadequate, but THANKS!!!

I had a good nights rest last night, the first in a long time… put on some Robin Mark, and as I was playing “Garments of Praise,” I danced in the living room… thinking of how she is now so free to worship and dance with that great cloud of witnesses. Thinking of how she asked that her memorial service be a time of celebration, and she so loved seeing the children up front dancing and worshiping, that’s one of the things she wanted.

All details are not completely worked out but we will have the Memorial service on Saturday, September 24th… it’s looking now like 3:00 pm at Monroe Community Chapel, 23515 Old Owen Rd, Monroe, WA 98272

More details will follow.

I took two laps around Lake Tye this morning…she loved to walk around that lake… and I am not going to crawl up in some hole somewhere…oh that would make her so mad!!!

Thanks again for all your prayers and support. You all are such a blessings, and this is really what the body of Christ  is all about…. Thank you, Thank you.

More later…

Creature of darkness and death, eating away at life in hiddenness,
Thinking you will gobble life away from unsuspecting victims.
Little do you know, oh creature from the pit, you vile and merciless enemy…
There is ONE who holds life in His hands, and His is the victory.
When all is said and done, the one you thought you would consume,
Is made glorious in the realms of heavens bliss, and all will someday know
Your so-called victory is only an illusion, for One Greater has conquered over all.

Written with hope in mind, in the shadow of cancer’s false victory – you don’t win!
Written for my dear wife, Marilou Loopstra, whom I will meet again at Jesus feet

Can you hear? the latch is being opened. Soon now those doors will open and the hosts of heaven, her Father, Herb, her yet unnamed son, and her Wonderful Savior will greet her as she enters the reward prepared for her before the foundations of the world.

The hospice nurse was here about 9:00 am. Made a short visit, and confirmed what I had been sensing that we are just hours away now from that moment. Jonathan and Carol, Esther and Tony and Jodan our “adopted” daughter are here with me as we keep vigil.

We are thankful for and leaning on the prayers and support and love of all our wonderful friends from all over this globe. Thank you!

As quickly as things have cascaded in these past few days and weeks, today we all feel a great weight as been lifted from us. The hospice nurse this morning explained to us that our job now is to make the body comfortable enough so that she can be released from the discomfort and be more free to leave us. So my task now is to bring her to that place, and to watch and wait. When she was still lucid and clear, she talked about how she looked forward to seeing Jesus face to face, to see her Dad and her youngest son who dies too early to see the light of this world. There, she can give him a name.

I feel now, more peace than I have in a long time. The weight of not knowing, of having her so uncomfortable and restless is for the most part behind us. For the believer there is not fear in death. In fact for those who are His, the Scriptures tell us that their death is blessed. The reward of His blood enters their eternal reward.

The Lord is near us, He is our strength and our comfort. In the light of eternity, it will be a brief blink of the eye and we will again be together.

Once more we want to thank EVERYONE who has been praying for us. We are about to enter into a new chapter in our journey, the “period” of this sentence will soon be written, and a new chapter begun. He, is our Hope…

I had the “diversion” to cook up some salmon and my brussels sprouts for the “kids” and we were hoping to take a family picture this evening with Marilou. But we got into her room and she was not really awake at all, and as I looked at those sunken cheeks and her  pale skin, I could not. That is not the spunky, loving girl I fell in love with. I had to leave the kids in the room, and spent some time on the deck in tears, asking the Lord to come and embrace her in His loving arms and not let her go through any more of this. My prayer now is for the Lord’s merciful taking her to Himself with peace. I know this thing called death has been overcome by the risen Lord Jesus, but sometimes the passageway is the hardest part. Lord make  us all strong in You in these last days/hours/moments and have your hand of peace in and over sweet Marilou

Well the family is all here. Jonathan arrived This morning about 1:30 am after a delayed flight out of Atlanta. So it was a short night. Jonathan and Carol had some time singing to Marilou at her bedside this morning and she was pretty responsive. But it was also fairly taxing. When the nurse came, we asked about her distended belly, and were told that this is a result of the cancer, and swelling will continue. We noticed that her fingers were also swollen and we could not get her wedding ring or her ring with the kids birthstones off her fingers. Because of the risk to her fingers, the nurse called the paramedics to come and cut off the rings. Poor Marilou was crying out, “NO! NO! Please NO!” it was heartbreaking…
I put the rings on her pinkies so she could still have them on. That and the bath later, pretty much more her out.
So afternoon has been kind of a “resting time” for all of us. The nurse was pretty firm that I get out and get away for a bit. And by today I was pretty wiped out with sleeping next to her bed, she would wake up at least twice during the night.
Later today and tomorrow each of us will have our private times with her to say goodbye and give her permission to leave us.
We could sure use your prayers for those times.

We so much appreciate all of you who have left messages of love and prayers. It has meant so much to all of us. We can never repay all that you have given to us. We pray God’s richest blessings on each one of you

It’s Tuesday….. really? It seems like yesterday must have lasted a month! But it is so good now to have Esther and Tony, and Carol here. We are waiting and praying that somehow Jonathan can get a flight out tomorrow.

When the nurse was here this morning, she indicated that Marilou would likely at the max have a week left. So Jonathan has had to scramble to try to find a ticket out of Cleveland. He will be arriving very early on Thursday morning.
We think she is trying to hold out for him to get here. This morning she was a little better cognitively, but with the nurse and a bath, it was a stressful day, and this evening she is pretty “vacant.”

It’s so great to have the family here during this time. It was so much the Lord, in the timing of all of these circumstances, we know He  has us all in His hands.

It has been so precious to hear from so many of you, and we want to thank you for your kind greetings and your prayers from all over.

I will update again tomorrow. Please continue to pray.. we know the Lord has a higher purpose in  all that  happens in our lives.

Thanks again, we’ll check in tomorrow

Hi all,
Things have taken a significant turn for the worse with Marilou since yesterday. Last night I brought my pillow and just slept by her bed to be nearer to her.

This morning she was considerably weaker, and not very coherent. I called hospice and the nurse came out. Even though this was her first visit with Marilou, she could see she was quite disoriented at times, and very weak. This morning her legs just buckled as I was trying to get her back to her bed from the restroom. I explained that Jonathan and Carol would be coming on Friday. She urged me to get there here as soon as possible.

The nurse will look in again tomorrow, and we will see then what she has to say.

Please pray that Jonathan and Carol will be able to get flights out here. Carol is still on the East Coast attending a family reunion. Jonathan is in Columbus and of course no direct flights.

Today has been a crazy whirlwind of trying to help Marilou, contacting family and trying to do a lot of things I thought I’d have a few weeks to do.

We had a lady from one of our local churches come by and anoint Marilou and pray over her. It was a sweet time.

We are now holding on, and praying that family will be able to get here in time. Pray for the manifold logistics in that. Pray for Marilou… we still pray and ask for divine intervention.

The hospice nurse has told me not to worry about her other meds at this time. They ordered some oxygen, morphine for pain, and an anti-anxiety drug (for Marilou). She is displaying some of those little things that happen at this stage of things.

Esther and Tony were married today on Orcus Island and I had to ask them to come back tonight. They will arrive later this evening.

Again, we covet your prayers. I will go up now and put on another music CD, and I try to sing with them over her the best that I can.
Bless you for praying, for standing with us. You’re the best