Words… words can be great things that lift us and transport us to far away worlds of fantasy or adventure. Words can be sharp daggers that injure us and inflict wounds that can last for years. But as I sat tonight and tried to write with tear swollen eyes, Marilou’s obituary, I was faced with another truth about words…they can be totally inadequate to truly express the longings, and the depths of the human heart. How is it possible to express the wonder and breadth of a human life in just a few short words? What I wrote seemed so shallow, so superficial. 

But the tasks must be done, the obituary, the phone calls the contacts, banks, insurance, and countless places and parts of the establishment that now need to be notified that this amazing person they never knew is no longer here. I guess it must be one of the crueler parts of death in our culture. 

On the other side of the scale of experiences, it was so good to be together with some pastor friends who meet together on Wednesday mornings. Their hugs and greetings were appreciated and again almost surreal…I had to keep reminding myself what was going on. But their sincere love and care was a genuine oasis for me this morning. Then it was back to the totally mundane things like fixing lunch, trying to get my PC to work… (it hasn’t yet). That again mixed with the sweet blessing of the plant that was sent from Bethany Alliance Church in Charles City, IA where we pastored in the early ’80’s. Wow, what a sweet gesture! The phone call from a pastor friend in Minnesota that I have known since seminary days.

The sweet and the bitter…the comfort of a call, and the tears that come from just looking at a picture. They all mix together in this strange tapestry that God weaves into our lives.

I didn’t get the lawn mowed again today, but somehow in the scheme of things… that wasn’t really that important…maybe tomorrow (snicker, snicker!!!)

Thanks for the kind words from you who have encouraged me to continue to write here. You are very kind and gracious, and I realize that this is cathartic for me as well, but this began because it was about Marilou. So, probably sooner than later, this journaling will also fade off into the dimness of the past. We will all move on, hopefully changed and effected in some way by a life that from my perspective anyway, ended far too soon